Reality TV?

Today we had a little meeting regarding this whole Nottingham deal. And as I was observing the different types of people assembled, I decided we could probably start a reality TV show, much like the Real World. Observe the different types of people included (there are 10 students going)

1- Male Jock
2- Female Jock in relationship with Male Jock
3- Punk Rock/Pseudo Counterculture Girl
4- Happy Be Friends With Everyone Girl
5- Abercrombie And Fitch Guy
6- Quiet Eccentric Guy (myself)
7- Overbearing Physics Geek
8- Seemingly Quiet Possibly Eccentric Girl
9- Party Girl
10- Ultra Liberal Diva Girl
11- Older Eccentric English Professor
12- Older Eccentric English Professor's Crazy English Professor Wife

So yeah, you can see the potential for some reality television. I'm guessing instead of being really dramatic though, we'll all just forge a common bond, being strangers in a foreign land. Won't be as exciting, but whatever. I've probably mentioned this before, but I feel a strange drawing to number #8 on the list. And it's so ridiculous, because I've never even said a word to her. Wait, I said thanks when she held the door open for me. Okay, I've said a word. But it's so weird, because I actually had a dream about her a couple nights ago. Nothing really exciting, the extent of my dream was me walking into a room, and this girl being there, and we introduced ourselves, and I sat down next to her. But like, when I shook her hand, she didn't let go and I ended up sitting on the ground holding her hand and talking with her. And in my dream I was my ideal self. I was the version of myself that is fun to be with, somewhat quirky, but easygoing and joyful. And that was my dream. We got along real well. Hope it goes that way in real life. But as has been noted in my life previously, when I consciously try to woo a female, things go disasterously wrong. So, I really need to stop thinking like this. However, it's proving to be hard. It's probably another attempt to sublimate romantic frustrations. Anyways, I bought this sweet Duke Ellington CD. It's his performance at the Newport Jazz Festival in 1956, which is pretty much regarded as one of the greatest live performances of jazz ever. It pretty much turned Ellington's career around. And man, does it contain some sweet music. On this one song, "Diminuendo and Crescendo in Blue," the tenor sax player plays 27 choruses, and the crowd pretty much goes crazy. It's so electric to listen to. Man, I wish I could have been there. So yeah, I don't know, life in general is going pretty well. It was a fairly laid back weekend, which was nice, because this week is going to be crazy with the opera. Anyways, hope everyone is well.

Why I Like This Photo

I really like this photo of myself. I was just perusing the photos on my computer and came across it. It's a combination of a lot of things I really like. Such as:
1 Coca-Cola
2 A Hawaiian shirt with some sort of khaki lower body clothing
3- A well worn Minnesota Twins hat, cocked at the perfect angle
4- A seductive pose
5- Japan, which also represents travel in general

So yeah, I like it. Tonight we had a jazz concert. And you know, it was fun. It was just fun to get together with a swinging band and making music. And since I will be abroad next year, it was my last opportunity to play with practically everyone in the band. I mean, I've only been in the Jazz Orchestra for this semester thus far, but it's been a good one. I'll miss it. I've made up my mind, I have to play some jazz in England. In other jazz news, I bought two CD's the other day. The complete recording of Ellington at Newport in 1956, and a Dave Brubeck album. I'm excited for them to come tomorrow. Good music to listen to. Well, I haven't talked much about my usual topic, which is my dysfunctional relationships with the opposite gender. They're still dysfunctional. Although I've actually befriended the oboe girl that I was intent on wooing in the fall. After I got off that little kick, we've been running into each other a lot, so we talk about stuff. We walked back from the music building last night and had a wonderful little chat about history and anthropology. The situation with the more recent blond oboe girl is dead. I realized that I was interested in her for all the wrong reasons, and rightly gave up. It was a good idea. The latest dysfunctional story has to do, oddly enough, with a girl I've never met. I've never even spoken two words to her. The only reason I know of her, is that she is going to Nottingham next year. And I've seen her profile on facebook (a college myspace). Other than such internet knowledge, I have no idea who she is. At all. If I ever see her on campus, I just try and smile meekly at her. But I don't know, there's something, some essence I am sensing from these photos that tells me she is something special. The problem is that it is well documented that when I have an intention to woo a girl, things go disasterously. As is the case with oboe girl, when I don't, I am much more natural and get along quite better. It's just so ridiculous to think about a girl I've never met like this. And I want to get to know her. This leaves one solution. I must block all these thoughts out. I don't know, I'm sure more details will emerge in the coming year. Man, I'm tired. It's been a long day. Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well.

The Non-Audition

Well, tonight was low brass band audition night here at Luther. As a consequence of my decision to study abroad, I did not participate. And I don't know, I feel really.... empty. For about a year and a half now, music has pretty much defined me here at Luther, and Concert Band plays a big part in that. I knew when I decided to study abroad that I would have to take leave of the Luther music scene for a while. But until tonight, it really didn't hit home. It's hitting. Man, what am I doing? I know this England thing is going to be a great experience, but man, not being in band. In band at Luther. With my friends. Going on tours, imitating Dr. Smith, taking care of Benjamin while he's drunk off his mind, playing the bass trombone solo on "Who Puts His Trust." I'm giving all of that up. And to most, that probably doesn't seem like a lot. But with my experiences here, it is a lot. If it wasn't for Concert Band, I'd probably still spend all my waking hours in my room alone. It just did so much for me. I mean, yeah, I got to go to Japan, and that cannot be discounted as a prime benefit. But most of all, it got me involved at Luther. It's where I found my friends. My good friends. Yeah, so I'm pretty bummed out right now. I know I'll do band over in England, but as we've established, it won't be the same. I just hope I'm not letting Dr. Smith down by doing this. I hope I know what I'm doing. So, during the Jazz Orchestra tour last week, I discovered that I want to learn to play jazz. Like, I want to learn to improvise and play at a level that would allow for combo playing. That's what I want to do with music when I graduate. Play jazz. I don't know, that's been on my mind a lot. I want to buy more jazz and listen to it more as well. I want to stop doing everything mediocre. This is something that I want to buckle down on and learn. This summer I'm really hoping to get some intense jazz study in. I've already let my summer teacher know of my plans. So that's been what's up the past few days. Life is generally going pretty good. School is starting to wind down, which is good, but that also means it's the last time I'll be at Luther for a while, which sucks. In a year from now, I'll be in England, with about a month left, maybe a little more. Man, the next year is going to be an adventure, no doubt about that. Hope everyone is well.

Easter Ramblings

Happy Easter everyone. It's been an interesting morning. As always, I spent the morning at church, playing trombone, chatting, etc, etc, etc. And I don't know, it was very interesting. Most of the people I know there now are still in high school, and I definitely felt apart from the high school world. Like, I could relate and understand things, but I know now that I am not a part of that culture anymore. And I don't know, I sort of wish I still was, because it's a very innocent time. Well, innocent relative to college. Or maybe it's just me, who knows. The talk amongst the young adults all revolved around relationships. I've had a couple of interesting experiences the past few days regarding relationships. One was a chat I had with an adult friend of mine. He was sort of a mentor to me in high school, and I still enjoy talking with him. Anyways, he was really big into dating in his high school and college years, always with a girl. Then he decided that he needed to step back, be single for a while, and listen to God. And he was just imparting the wisdom that that period in his life gave him. Especially now, since he has gotten himself into a very serious relationship in the past year, after he decided that his period of singleness was complete. I just so completely admire him in how he has dealt with the opposite gender. The relationship that he is in now represents the essence of what I would like to have. A connection between two people that is so emotionally, spiritually, and mentally beautiful that physical acts really don't hold much significance. I mean, of course they do, but they aren't at the center. That would be a great thing. It just made me think that I have so much life in front of me. I worry so much about girls and the like, but I really should just try and chill out for a while. But of course, the fact that I am now writing about the opposite gender shows that that is not the case right now. I just feel under pressure. My best friend is always bugging me about not "getting any," my cousin apparently thinks/thought I'm gay, two good friends have gotten engaged, many other friends are in a relationship or successfully pursuing one, plus the fact I've never been in a relationship. It's dumb, but that can really get at you. But it's also very hard when you feel as if you've been waiting forever. Anyways, enough of that. I saw a really good friend of mine at church this morning who goes to college north of Luther. I used to have a really big crush on her in like, early high school or something. I just got to thinking, "Man, she really is a beautiful person." I'd like to do some stuff with her this summer. The girl who I was on hardcore in late high school pretty much gave me the cold shoulder. It was sort of awkward, but didn't really affect me. I just found it strange. Of course, she was with her boyfriend type person. Last night I stayed up and watched The Passion of the Christ, to sort of prepare myself for the Easter celebration. I really don't want to talk about it, but it definitely creates some thoughts. I feel as if I really need to sit down and ponder the Easter mystery, being (to me) what Jesus' resurrection really means to me. I mean, I hear it all the time, but I don't think I'm really getting it like I should. I feel as if my life should be transformed when I really get it, you know? I don't know, I just sort of feel alone right now. Hard to explain. Anyways, I hope everyone is well, and having a phenomenal Easter. I hope we can all love each other the way Christ loved us.

Orchestra Hall

So, the Orchestra Hall concert is coming up on Sunday. For those of you that don't know, Luther is holding a little concert with the Nordic Choir, Symphony Orchestra, and Concert Band. Basically, come and give us money so we can build a new science building. But it should be a good time. The lame bass trombone kid is continuing to be lame and shirking his responsibility. Dude, it's just ridiculous. So lame that we should be putting up with this in the top ensemble at Luther. Went swing dancing tonight, it was fun. Didn't have a whole lot of time, but it's always nice to do some dancing with Emily and Laura. I need to hit up the Tapestry again and learn some stuff that I can actually do. I've gotten hooked on the TV show 24, with Kiefer Sutherland. I'd highly recommend it. I purchased Season 1 on DVD, and it's pretty hardcore. Over spring break, a friend lent me season 4, and I watched the whole thing. I was up until like, 1:30 every night. Man, it's so enthralling. Kiefer could definitely rip me in half with his bare hands. I was going to ask the blond oboe girl out on a date or something this weekend, but she was going on and on about how busy she was this weekend, so that sort of killed that off. I will have to try for sometime next week. No more bullshit, just action. Ha, I hope. I'm looking forward towards the breaking of Lent, which means a couple things. First of all, it's Easter, second of all, I can drink Coke again. It's weird that myself, who conveniently is not as religiously observant as I should be most of the year, can get so hardcore about giving something up for Lent, especially something I consume so much of typically. But, I think I need to do stuff like this. I don't want to be a fundamentalist or anything, but I think faith should take a little more active role. I don't know, justification is by faith, not through works, thank God. In a completely unrelated topic, I have this huge bottle of vodka in my desk, left over from our high class party. What am I going to do with this? I don't drink that much. Oh well, I'm sure a solution will present itself. Hope everyone is well.

High School

I went back to my high school tonight, to see the spring musical. It was Guys and Dolls. And you know, it was good. About the same quality all the musicals were when I was involved. And you know, it's always interesting to go back to your high school after graduation. You see what has changed, and then what is exactly the same. And that gives you a certain perspective on things. When I was in high school, I had a real problem with going to Farmington. It was too small, too old, didn't have a good music program, etc, etc, etc. Only after graduation do I fully realize what my high school experience was, and how it impacts me today. And in short, there's no other place in the world I would have rather gone than Farmington. I'm so glad I was put there, to grow, to learn, to start my life adventure. I'm so glad I had Mr. Gottwig, my most looked up to and respected person ever. I am always so happy to see him and talk with him. It's just, so great. Anyways, spring break is winding down. It hasn't been the most fun, simply because of the work factor, but it has been productive. And it certainly had its fun times. Anyways, I'll write something for real when I return to Luther. Hope everyone is well.