So, tonight, I went out for pizza with some mock trial people, came back, and went to a string quartet concert. Man, they were awesome. I enjoyed myself, and I didn't think I would. Currently, I am sitting in my room, in my Jedi robe (sans cloak), and just starting Return of the Jedi. Previously, I watched about half of The Patriot on TV. Good times. My right boot is acting kind of weird, it's digging into part of my foot. So, not too keen on that. It will be nice when I get some real boots, later on this summer. I've decided that a suit of either stormtrooper, clonetrooper, or Darth Vader armor will be my next and last big costuming project. Either an ARC trooper or a sandtrooper, to be specific. Anyways, it was prom night here in Decorah, so all these high schoolers were driving around in their tuxedos, with their women. It got me thinking about my prom experiences, which were interesting, to say the least. I tend to think about my prom(s) quite a bit, so I'm trying to figure out why. I went with the same girl for two years, which was enjoyable. First year, I went to her school's prom, along with a group of my friends from church, who all got dates from that school, or went there. And man, that was fun, I'm not going to lie. We all wore these custom made Star Wars vests, and they rock. That shows you what a geek I am, I wore a Star Wars vest to prom. Here's the awesome part, my date liked it. Can't deny that. Anyways, in 12th grade, she came to mine, which I guess, to me, wasn't as successful. Both instances, especially the first, I had intentions to woo this particular young lady. And ultimately, though I think I came quite close in 11th grade, I failed. I think that's why I think about prom so much, especially in 11th grade. I have sort of cultivated an image among close friends, where I always pretend to be this big ladies man, all charming, etc, etc, etc. You know, I say little romantic things in French, crap like that. And you know, I can't say I was very charming both of the times I went to prom. I really was not. I tend to be aloof in public, and especially around women. I got so nervous around this girl, that I didn't even compliment how she looked until like, when I dropped her off, or something ridiculous like that. I waited outside her door for like, two minutes to ring the doorbell. It was personally disappointing, to be sure, just that I couldn't just tell her how awesome she looked. And she did, to be sure. Oh well, it happens. I don't know, I think I came close to wooing this girl in 11th grade. I don't know, for just that one night, I felt so close to a person. Just, in the jit, like she was the only other person that mattered in the world. I even kissed her. Nothing intense, so as not to over-glorify anything. But you know, for one night, my hopeless romantic dreams sort of came true. However, when you get down to it, I did some really stupid and insensitive things, and I ruined the whole relationship. Which as you can imagine, made the next prom a little weird. Especially when you take her to a place where she doesn't know anybody, and you had been bragging about this awesome girl you're bringing. Anyways, it was kind of disheartening, for me, at least. I wasn't disheartened to be with her, I was disheartened that I couldn't make her happy, or enjoy herself more, or be comfortable, or just like me, I guess. Although, any young would be Han Solos, here is the ultimate way to ask a girl to a dance, out on a date. I was in Paris about two months prior to prom. So I asked her to prom in French, on a postcard of the Tour d'Eiffel at night, and airmailed it from Paris, the City of Lights. I was proud of myself, and it was awesome. I think now, when I think about relationships, I spend so much time thinking about how I screwed up stuff with this girl, that I don't even think about what went right, or just stuff in general. Overall, I spend way too much time thinking about how I screwed up this relationship two years ago, and not enough about how I could find a nice girl now, who shares my interests and passions. And to some extent, wishing I could be with the girl from two years ago. Sort of. I feel like I'm chasing a dream, that remains consistently out of my reach. Anyways, what is the moral of the story? Weird things come out of prom, and high school relationships in general. Really weird crap, that causes you much thinking and pain. So, that basically sums up a large part of my romantic strife. I'm at the part in Return of the Jedi where Leia, disguised as Boushh, is freeing Han from the carbonite. One of my top favorite scenes out of all of Star Wars is the part where they kiss on board the Millennium Falcon in V, that whole scene. It's just so beautiful, how they speak to each other, what they speak, how Han massages her hand, how she knows she loves him, but can't let it out. Man, it's great. If only things were that easy. I suppose, at least going my route, you won't get frozen in carbonite.
