Marathon

I just completed 17 hours of Star Wars. The entire saga. It was very interesting. It is so hard, for someone raised on the original trilogy, to divorce "Star Wars" from the original films. Like, it's hard to integrate the ideas generated by the prequels into the images you already have ingrained in your head. The time gaps between the episodes also make for some strange feelings. The original trilogy, and Episodes II and III felt very much integrated, as they were close in time. Overall, I think I found a way to reconcile the saga. The prequel trilogy is the story of how the good can become evil, and how someone falls from the good. The original trilogy is the story of how good triumphs, and someone's struggle to not only remain good, but bring another to be good. True, it is about fathers and sons, masters and apprentices, etc, etc, etc. But I think that's what it boils down to. When Darth Vader is allowed character development in V and VI, the prequel experience adds so much to understanding what his motivations are, and why he does what he does. When Padme died, he lost the will for anything. His love was gone, his best friend into exile, his way of life shattered. He just gave up on the light, and pitied himself into thinking he was enslaved to the dark for the rest of his life. My friend came up with that, I thought it was interesting. It's also interesting to see how Obi-Wan weaves in and out, as well as Yoda, and some of Qui-Gon's ideas. All these influences, first upon Anakin, then for a second round on Luke. One of the best ways to spend 17 hours I can think of.

At Panera

I'm at Panera right now, in Maplewood. A friend of mine works here, so I came to visit and get a bite to eat. I do enjoy this restaurant, I'm not going to lie. It's sort of Euro-chic. It's become quite warm out. Well, around 42 degrees, but that's warm for this time of year. I hope it gets colder soon, I don't want the snow to melt. I went hunting for swing shoes today, and actually found a pair. A pair that I really liked. They're black and white Aris Allen wingtips. I tried them on, and they're pretty comfortable. Dance shoes have a very different feel to them, they're quite snug. I can see how that helps though. I didn't actually purchase the shoes, as I'm trying to be a little more responsible with money, and they are $70. Hopefully I'll get some more money over Christmas that will help in the purchase of them. My Star Wars marathon is in less than a week at church. It sounds as though there will be a lot of people showing up, which will be cool. But then again, I sort of wish it wasn't popular. I wish it was like the Lord of the Rings a thon last year, where just the diehards showed up. I don't know, it will definitely be interesting. 17 hours. Man, it will be intense, if nothing else. I took my Silversonic in to get the slide tuned up the other day, so it should be done next week. I haven't seen my friend Scott lately, and that is disappointing. I'm disappointed in myself. He had thumb surgery on Monday, and I haven't even gone to visit him or anything. I never brought him a "Get Well Soon" balloon or anything. And I should have. It's nice to be on break. It's nice to see old friends. Speaking of old friends, I'm taking a girl swing dancing tonight, a girl from my high school. And I don't know, I have certain feelings for her, but I can't exactly articulate them. I have sort of befriended their family (minus the mom) throughout the years, and I'm pretty certain her dad like, wants his daughter to marry me. It's just sort of strange. Well, it's time to go try and find a barber. That's right, I want to go to a barber for my next haircut. An episode of "Seinfeld" inspired me. Hope everyone is doing well. Oh yeah, and here's an image of the beard experiment.

The Experiment

Well, the beard experiment is over, for now. I got rid of my facial hair tonight, at about 10 PM. I won't say that I didn't feel some regret once it was done. I looked in the mirror and it was like, "Oh, there you are again. The same guy you've seen for 19 years." It's not like I didn't like the beard. I will grow it again, maybe even this winter. I don't know, just at this point in my life, my journey does not include a beard. I didn't like how people at home just flipped out about it, or gave me their critiques. It was fun to look different, but I don't know, it's just not in my journey. That's my best explanation. I will post photos of what I looked like eventually, but I'm not using my laptop, so it's a little more difficult. C-dog, if you read this, we have to chill sometime. Tonight, I bought some clothes at the mall. Well, a scarf, a hat, and a shirt. A really super-chic shirt from Express for Men. Work has been hell lately. I hope it gets better. I saw Mr. Gottwig today. It didn't hit me how much I miss him in my life until today. What an amazing man. Honestly, one of the most influential people in my life. My friend is recovering from thumb surgery as we speak. Hope you're doing good man, I'm thinking about you. Anyways, I'm out. Hope everyone is well.

Movies

I purchased a movie entitled "The 40 Year Old Virgin" yesterday. I read good reviews for it, it was about a geek with women problems, and I wanted to recklessly spend money, so I bought it and watched it. And you know, I liked it. It is very dirty, which was to be expected, but it had an underlying message I could appreciate. I could relate to it as well. I mean, I'm not on a quest to lose my virginity anytime soon or anything, but I think when I find my future wife or whatever, I'll probably have a lot of the same mannerisms of Andy Stitzer in the movie. Instead of a buttload of sealed action figures in my home, it will be Star Wars paraphenelia. I don't know, I'm a geek, so I'm sure I'll go about the courtship process in geeky ways. Speaking of geeks, I've been thinking a lot about Emily, the individual I gave the Darth Potato to. And, I haven't really done anything, just thought about her. I'm betting I'll see her tonight at swing club, and we usually dance together quite a bit, so that will be fun. I was supposed to drive back home for an hour tonight in order to play my trombone with a choir, so I wouldn't be sightreading it at the Mall of America on Sunday. Well, there's a blizzard going on right now, so it's not looking like that will happen. Oh yeah, and my mom was going to pay for gas plus extra. But, I don't want to drive through a blizzard for an hour rehearsal. Then drive back. If any of you have been calling my cell phone, it's broken, so I can't call anyone or pick up any calls. So, just pretend it's high school again. I'm actually sort of glad it's broken. But then again, it's nice to have it functional on the road. So yeah, I don't know. I just wanted to share my thoughts on that movie. It's pretty good.

Victory

The saga of the spring opera bass trombone has finally been settled, and I am victorious. I mean, it sort of helps when the opponent neglects to show up at the audition, but that would not have mattered. He would have been steamrolled. It was so lame. I was there a half hour early, warming up and such, and was ready at 10:30, the specified time. I didn't end up playing my audition until about 10:45 because Dr. Baldwin was running late. Dr. Smith told me he wanted me to play the stuff, even if the other kid didn't show up, because he wanted Baldwin to hear me play. So I did, and I played it dang well. And I was proclaimed the pit orchestra bass trombonist. As I was putting my horn away, the kid shows up. A half hour late. Thank God, Smith finally put his foot down, and he wasn't allowed to audition. He later told me that I had played the crap out of the audition pieces, and it was very impressive. So yes, the long, drawn out, needlessly haggled drama is over. And I have shown my worth. Yes. In other music news, I scored a perfect 20 out of 20 on my piano final skills exam. And I got a 65 out of 75 on my ear training singing exam. A successful morning. Now, time to get raped by the ear training dictation final. But it's to be expected. The Silversonic is getting shipped today or tomorrow. Man, it's going to be intense. More news on developing friendships to come later on this week. The beard project is progressing. I don't know if I like this feeling of hair on my face though. I think this will not last very long. I got an e-mail from my high school band director today, which always puts me in a good mood. I love that man. Anyways, if you are in college, good luck with finals, if you're not, good luck on whatever you're doing. Hope everyone is well.

Christmas Gifts

This is the item I gave Emily for Christmas. Emily is the female I know who, as we've gone over plenty of times before, likes Star Wars and plays trombone. She really liked it, and that pleased me. I thought she would think it was stupid or something. But she really seemed pleased with it, so that was nice. I have some sort of complicated emotions for that girl. Well, not complicated, but I like to think they are. I like her a lot. And not in the way where I like, want to jump on her or anything like that. I mean, whenever I am able to spend time with her, I just completely enjoy it. But then again, she's about to graduate, and I'm still going to be here. Nothing will probably come out of anything, but I can dream. I can't explain much more than that. I do know that anyone who wants to have a Star Wars marathon over J-term, can't deny that. Finals are coming up, I'm thinking they're going to go well. Besides ear training of course, but that's to be expected. My friend is taking all these emergency preparedness/first responder/paramedic courses, and is working all these college sports games as a medical guy. I don't know if you read this or not, but I'm really proud of you man. I really think it's cool that you're doing what you love like this. I hope you keep it up.

Silversonic

Yesterday I sent off a check to purchase a vintage 1960's King 3B Silversonic. That's right, I found one. The quest is over. Well, I still have to play the thing and make sure I like how it sounds, etc, etc, etc. But still, this is a momentous occasion. As anyone who knows me well can testify, the King 3B Silversonic has long been the trombone of legend for myself. In high school, Gaisor and I used to spend jazz band periods waxing eloquent about its sterling silver bell, lightning fast slide, and sweet tone. It was our perfect instrument. As I came to college, it was with shock and awe that I learned such a legendary instrument resided here. It was truly an ecstatic day when I was allowed to play the Silversonic for the first time. I have had the honor of borring that instrument for jazz concerts here at Luther, and it is a beautiful thing to play. It's so responsive, and so easily to pop into the high range, and still sound bright. To compare, this is like, I don't know, a brand new set of Taylor Made golf clubs, or if you're into coffee, one of those $500 dollar jet expresso machines. The one I'm getting won't be as nice as the one I've gotten to play at Luther. But you know, I don't care. It's not the looks that count, and I can always get it spruced up if I wanted to. I guess it was owned by a guy in a U.S. Navy band, so it has "USN" stamped on it. It will add character. Other than some lacquer wear, it doesn't have any big dings or anything, and it has a great slide. I can't wait to play it. So yeah, big news. I have most of my Christmas shopping done already. It's weird. Anyways, today was my last day of ear training for the semester. To give you a good example of how ear training went for me, today, I wrote out a minor melody in a major key by accident. Yeah, let's not talk about it. I felt pretty damn stupid after my teacher pointed it out to me. It's not like I didn't know it was in minor, I just had a brain fart or whatever and decided to write it as if it was in F major instead of d minor. Oh well, last class is cause for celebration. I am in the process of growing a beard. Why, you ask? Well, for one reason, I can. Secondly, and most importantly, I think it will make me look more like Obi-Wan Kenobi. Thirdly, I don't know, it sounds like a good thing to do. I don't really plan to keep it long, unless I like it. I learned the other day that Kathleen, a girl I once had aspirations of wooing, is now in a relationship. And you know, it really didn't bother me that much. I don't know, I just hope she's happy. What's meant to be is meant to be, you know? It's no use getting all riled up about something you have no control over. It's snowing again here at Luther. I love winter, I really do. Thus, I am enjoying the snow. Benjamin and I are sending some crap over to Japan as Christmas gifts to Chie and Keito. Just some Luther stuff. I hope they like it though. It's really fun to keep in touch with them. Speaking of foreign friends, I need to get a card off to Camille over in France. I talked with her the other week, and next year, as I am exploring Europe, I am going to go visit them. She seemed to find that an acceptable prospect. Isn't it strange how people you only spend a limited amount of time with can have a lasting impact on you? I lived with the Ehrmann's for 4 or 5 days, yet Camille imparted a very strong emotion on me. I can't really place it. But I mean, we had the language barrier in our way, I really couldn't speak very much French (even less now), but I still find myself thinking about her often. She's like, 4 years younger than me, so no one get any weird ideas. But I don't know, she has to be one of my very favorite people. Just something about the way she carried herself. Hard to explain. I wish all the best for her and her family. They are beautiful people, and I look forward to seeing them again. Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well.

P.S. Yesterday, I played on a piano that was extreme bargain priced at $90,000. A special edition Steinway grand. It was pretty intense.

Risks

Couldn't think of a better title. Just a quick update on what's been going on in the life the past couple of days. Juries are coming up. For those of you not in college, a jury is where you play a solo or something and get "graded" on it by brass people, in my case. In reality, they just pat you on the back and say good job, but you need to play it fairly well. And for your own dignity, you have to play it well. Plus I have to deal with this orchestra thing. But you know, I've been practicing the music hard, and it's coming along. I had some rough times tonight dealing the excerpt from Haydn, but it's coming. I have Benjamin and Luke giving me feedback, so that's cool. This stupid freshman just picked up the music today. Today. Apparently he forgot. Then he looked at it, and was like, "Oh, this is sort of tricky." Or so my colleagues in jazz orchestra tell me. Gosh, trombone is so hard. Like, it's so hard to not put pressure on your lips when you play high. I end up smashing the stupid mouthpiece to my face every time I go above F. After the craziness of juries and wack orchestra auditions is over, I need to hit the fundamentals hard. I thought about women a lot yesterday. I sort of fell into one of my little bouts of self pity. Well, I did. I was questioning myself why no girls liked me, etc, etc, etc. I'm not going to lie, I still wonder. But you know what, it's not worth getting all riled up about. I have 2 and a half years left in college, probably more schooling after that, then a whole life, hopefully. I mean, I do need to take risks, and ask girls out, and stuff like that. But for this time and this place, it obviously is not in God's plan for me to have a girlfriend. Or at least, I don't think He wants me to sit and worry about it. That's what I mean. When I find a particular female that sets my heart aflutter, I'll go from there. But from my recent experiences with Kathleen and Emily, I've just been sort of having crushes. Maybe I wouldn't say that if I still saw Kathleen. I've maybe said, 30 words to her since the band tour. I mean really, it's disgusting. And my well documented social woes prevent me from asking her to hang out or whatever. Eh, more on women at a later point. There is a particular situation I sort of have, but I don't want to go into it now. I got this DVD of the Japan tour today, that some student made. It's alright. There's no sound in the video, only our CD playing as a soundtrack. And I'm only shown like, twice. But it was fun to remember. I don't know if I mentioned this anywhere else, but last Friday, I partook in a wine and cheese party. Right, it was interesting. Fun though. In all probability, I will be spending next academic year in England. I will miss my friends here very much, but it's an opportunity that is too great to ignore. I hope everyone understands. I am not running away from anyone, or anything. In fact, it will pain me to leave most things. I did find out there are plenty of musical opportunities though. Still won't equal Concert Band or playing with the people here. But, we must take risks in order to fully experience life. I've never been a big risk taker in any aspect of life. I guess this will be a start.

A Rant, for a bit

I need to rant on something, and just get it out of my system. As regular readers may recall, I was contracted by the orchestra director here at Luther to play bass trombone in the pit orchestra for the spring opera. I was recommended by Benjamin, the bass trombonist in the Symphony Orchestra, I had come in second in the fall auditions, and had talked to him confirming my participation. Deal closed, right? Apparently not. This first year kid, who fancies himself a bass trombone player, somehow found out about the spring opera, which still eludes me. How he found out that is, because it was a closed deal. And this kid just decides he wants to play in the opera, even though I ALREADY HAD THE POSITION! Then, in another stupid turn of events, my trombone teacher didn't just tell him it was already filled, he caved in and said that maybe they could re-audition for it. That is the first thing that angers me, I'm being forced to re-audition for a spot that was rightfully mine a month ago. Then, Dr. Smith puts up the audition music, because this kid doesn't have it. He puts up two copies of it, and I take one. He posted this music on Tuesday. By Friday, the kid still hadn't picked it up, so he e-mailed him. Tonight, Saturday afternoon, I'm in the music building. Music is still there. And I'm just undergoing a lot of emotions about it. First of all, I'm angry that it's even an issue. Secondly, I'm insulted that he doesn't pick up his music. I get the impression that this kid just thinks he'll steamroll me. And that insults me. I am not the best trombonist at Luther by a long shot, but I have acquired some skill, and am not in a position to be underestimated in this way. I may not own my bass trombone, or have played it in high school, but I am playing it in Concert Band to some success, and improving all the time. Basically, I just feel a lot more qualified. I have one of the best work ethics in the trombone studio, and have proven myself to put in the time necessary to play my music. And gosh, let's not even talk about this kid's reliability. He sleeps through rehearsals, doesn't come to trombone choir, etc, etc, etc. It all just frustrates me so much. I don't know, I'm preparing for this audition like I would any other one. I'm pretending I have to go up against Benjamin, or someone intense like that, and it's very insulting that this kid doesn't even pick up his damn music. Anyways, that's that. I've been having fun playing in Christmas at Luther. I wish I could play in the orchestra, but that's okay. Eventually. I have not had a very productive day today. I sort of lazed about. I did pick a topic for my East Asian history paper. How Fukuzawa Yukichi's "Escape from Asia" thesis is still being used and refuted today. Oh yeah, I made Concert Band again. There's a story to it, that also involves this annoying kid, but that's for another time. You know when you do things you know are wrong, but you still do them? I have a situation like that, and it is bothering me. I don't know, I am really enjoying college as of late. I have friends, have interests, am succeeding academically (save ear training), improving on trombone, and having fun. There is still something missing. I still feel sort of looked over. There is definitely something missing spiritually. I need to go to church. I need to stop typing, I've lost my train of thought. Hope everything is going well.

Snow

It's snowing out, and it rocks my world. The crunch of shoes upon fresh snow has to be one of my favorite sounds. Along with the squeak of a chairlift. Gah, I want to go skiing. So much. I spent about an hour in Marty's tonight with Benjamin, Klein, Michael, and Jeanette. It was fun. Gosh, it feels so good to have a group of friends. It's is so difficult for me to make up my mind on Nottingham. It's such a good opportunity, but there is so much to lose. So much. Do the gains outweigh the losses? I need to decide, soon. Anyways, Christmas at Luther will be on Minnesota Public Radio on December 15th at 7:00 PM. You should all listen to it, I'm playing on one song. And Christmas at Luther is a big deal here. A big deal. Man, I need some more Seinfeld. I've watched all the episodes in season 4. Christmas is coming though. Speaking of that, I still need to think of gifts for a lot of people, as well as purchase them. That is challenging. Anyways, I need to go. I'll talk to you all later. Hope all is well.