Same Old, Same Old

In terms of the pursuit of the enigma girl, I think an old foe has been encountered. Namely that of the more interesting guy. It's becoming increasingly clear that the enigma is drawn to the cheese guy who so tormented me in the caf line last spring. Maybe drawn is too strong a word, but it's clear he is definitely more interesting, and she spends a lot of time with him talking. Whilst all the while, I just sort of sit around, obtuse, awkward, odd, unable to make any sort of coherent statement, etc, etc, etc. I don't know, I don't think I'm that disinteresting. Just not very open with the things I feel am interesting about me. Very much an introvert, who needs to be approached. It's just a tired game, this business of conflicted emotions, lost girls, feeling powerless, etc, etc, etc. There's another girl in the flat who I think is pretty nice and such, but she's so hard to talk to. Very hard to get through to. I feel bad, because a lot of people here don't like her, and though I can sort of understand why, she's definitely getting pushed towards the fringes. Just a little frustrated right now. Plus, the fact that I'm sick, and randomly burst into fits of coughing adds to my current self image as being small and pathetic, as well as completely unattractive. In addition, I'm a little homesick. Not to the extent that I'm going to actually consider leaving, but I do want to go home. I miss America, even with all the stuff that sucks. People at home, we bitch all the time about the politics, and the healthcare system, and Iraq, and you can go on and on and on. But even the most socialist of you, I think after you've spent nearly 3 months in a foreign land, even one so similar, and you'll start to realize what's so good. I know I do. It's just one of those nights fraught with self pity I think, which is okay. Everyone has nights like this. The enigma situation is disheartening though, I must admit. When is someone going to come along that finds me as interesting and cool as the cheese guy? Who knows.

Bath-ings

I was in Bath this weekend. The overarching highlight of the trip was the opportunity to mose closely get to know some members of the flat. In particular Brandon, Emily, and Mary. I think everyone who reads this (which apparently only consists of Klein. Glad you still find it interesting) knows who out of the two named females the enigma girl is. But since I already have this going, only referring to the individual as the enigma or whatever, I'll run with it. We had the opportunity to spend Sunday night together, as a bulk of the group decided to hit up a Mozart opera. I wasn't feeling it, she wasn't feeling it, so we ditched and walked around together. I've sort of been examining the experience over and over in my head. We had a lot of great talks, but we really started to click I feel near the end of our time. We ended up going to an Italian restaurant to have a bite to eat, and I guess the atmosphere got us going. I don't know, we had been talking about what it was that we were passionate about. And I got on this kick about music, and what it means to really make music, and yada, yada, yada. And she did find it interesting. Not because she necessarily knew what I was talking about, but because she liked seeing me exhibiting passion about something. I had the same feelings about her as she talked about some of the things she most enjoyed. It was just really cool. I opened up to her (sort of surprisingly to myself) about a couple things that I don't think I've ever discussed with a girl. Just matters of the opposite gender, hopes, fears, etc, etc, etc. Those 3.5 hours were among the best I've hand in England thus far, I guess. And we definitely bonded, no question about that. Like I have mentioned earlier, I think any sort of relationship (this is so far off of anything, holy crap) is just not so feasible in this weird sort of group ecosystem we all find ourselves in. And we talked about that as well. I don't know. I can only hope to make a good friend, you know? I want to make a good friend. And if she wants to go see a Twins game over the summer (or a few), or wants to go out and eat, or cook, or go to Natalie's wedding, I would not be opposed at all. It's a little intimidating, having a situation with a female be looking positive, even if it's not necessarily going anywhere. But it's a good feeling, I'll tell you that much. Beautiful girls who get along with you are always a good idea, no matter where you come from.

Razzle Dazzle

Development: I'm going to go see Chicago with the enigma girl on Dec. 7th. Meaning, only her and I are going to see the show, I bought the tickets today. We can both engage in the college ritual of seeing shows in really shitty student priced seating. 2nd tier, row R baby. Obviously, it's not really a date or anything, but I still felt as if it was a significant development, in that she's cool with only going with me, and not a million other people or whatever. But I'm really looking forward to it. I don't want it to necessarily be a date or whatever either, simply because of the situation we all find ourselves in. Meaning the whole communal living thing. I think it would throw off stuff if anyone started dating another person in the flat. But this will be a good thing to do, as friends, and maybe lead to a greater understanding, deeper friendship, and positive experience for all. Plus, it's freaking Chicago. Who doesn't like Chicago? It is a shame that Richard Gere will not be playing Billy Flynn, but I think I'll get over it.