The Non-Audition

Well, tonight was low brass band audition night here at Luther. As a consequence of my decision to study abroad, I did not participate. And I don't know, I feel really.... empty. For about a year and a half now, music has pretty much defined me here at Luther, and Concert Band plays a big part in that. I knew when I decided to study abroad that I would have to take leave of the Luther music scene for a while. But until tonight, it really didn't hit home. It's hitting. Man, what am I doing? I know this England thing is going to be a great experience, but man, not being in band. In band at Luther. With my friends. Going on tours, imitating Dr. Smith, taking care of Benjamin while he's drunk off his mind, playing the bass trombone solo on "Who Puts His Trust." I'm giving all of that up. And to most, that probably doesn't seem like a lot. But with my experiences here, it is a lot. If it wasn't for Concert Band, I'd probably still spend all my waking hours in my room alone. It just did so much for me. I mean, yeah, I got to go to Japan, and that cannot be discounted as a prime benefit. But most of all, it got me involved at Luther. It's where I found my friends. My good friends. Yeah, so I'm pretty bummed out right now. I know I'll do band over in England, but as we've established, it won't be the same. I just hope I'm not letting Dr. Smith down by doing this. I hope I know what I'm doing. So, during the Jazz Orchestra tour last week, I discovered that I want to learn to play jazz. Like, I want to learn to improvise and play at a level that would allow for combo playing. That's what I want to do with music when I graduate. Play jazz. I don't know, that's been on my mind a lot. I want to buy more jazz and listen to it more as well. I want to stop doing everything mediocre. This is something that I want to buckle down on and learn. This summer I'm really hoping to get some intense jazz study in. I've already let my summer teacher know of my plans. So that's been what's up the past few days. Life is generally going pretty good. School is starting to wind down, which is good, but that also means it's the last time I'll be at Luther for a while, which sucks. In a year from now, I'll be in England, with about a month left, maybe a little more. Man, the next year is going to be an adventure, no doubt about that. Hope everyone is well.