Risks

Couldn't think of a better title. Just a quick update on what's been going on in the life the past couple of days. Juries are coming up. For those of you not in college, a jury is where you play a solo or something and get "graded" on it by brass people, in my case. In reality, they just pat you on the back and say good job, but you need to play it fairly well. And for your own dignity, you have to play it well. Plus I have to deal with this orchestra thing. But you know, I've been practicing the music hard, and it's coming along. I had some rough times tonight dealing the excerpt from Haydn, but it's coming. I have Benjamin and Luke giving me feedback, so that's cool. This stupid freshman just picked up the music today. Today. Apparently he forgot. Then he looked at it, and was like, "Oh, this is sort of tricky." Or so my colleagues in jazz orchestra tell me. Gosh, trombone is so hard. Like, it's so hard to not put pressure on your lips when you play high. I end up smashing the stupid mouthpiece to my face every time I go above F. After the craziness of juries and wack orchestra auditions is over, I need to hit the fundamentals hard. I thought about women a lot yesterday. I sort of fell into one of my little bouts of self pity. Well, I did. I was questioning myself why no girls liked me, etc, etc, etc. I'm not going to lie, I still wonder. But you know what, it's not worth getting all riled up about. I have 2 and a half years left in college, probably more schooling after that, then a whole life, hopefully. I mean, I do need to take risks, and ask girls out, and stuff like that. But for this time and this place, it obviously is not in God's plan for me to have a girlfriend. Or at least, I don't think He wants me to sit and worry about it. That's what I mean. When I find a particular female that sets my heart aflutter, I'll go from there. But from my recent experiences with Kathleen and Emily, I've just been sort of having crushes. Maybe I wouldn't say that if I still saw Kathleen. I've maybe said, 30 words to her since the band tour. I mean really, it's disgusting. And my well documented social woes prevent me from asking her to hang out or whatever. Eh, more on women at a later point. There is a particular situation I sort of have, but I don't want to go into it now. I got this DVD of the Japan tour today, that some student made. It's alright. There's no sound in the video, only our CD playing as a soundtrack. And I'm only shown like, twice. But it was fun to remember. I don't know if I mentioned this anywhere else, but last Friday, I partook in a wine and cheese party. Right, it was interesting. Fun though. In all probability, I will be spending next academic year in England. I will miss my friends here very much, but it's an opportunity that is too great to ignore. I hope everyone understands. I am not running away from anyone, or anything. In fact, it will pain me to leave most things. I did find out there are plenty of musical opportunities though. Still won't equal Concert Band or playing with the people here. But, we must take risks in order to fully experience life. I've never been a big risk taker in any aspect of life. I guess this will be a start.