Decision

I am spending next academic year in England. I’ve made up my mind. And I can honestly say, it was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life. I’ve never had so many different factors pulling me in so many different directions. So many things call me to stay at Luther. Ben and Jacob’s final year, for one. Music, another huge one. And the fact that I finally have a core here at Luther, being Benjamin, Klein, Michael, Kate, etc, etc, etc. If any of you individuals read this, I will miss you so much, and I hope you will accept me back when I return. But I have studied this program intensely. I have talked with my boss about keeping my job at Walgreens, I have looked into music, I have weighed the effects it has on my history degree. I had doubts earlier this week, this is true. But this is just an experience I cannot pass up. I never in my life learned more in a single period of time than the Washingon D.C. trip in 7th grade. This is just an extended one. I feel confident in my determination to play trombone, and continue to improve. It is important to me, and nothing will stop me from becoming the player I hope to become. Ben and Jacob, you have always been there for me, and your friendship drew me to Luther. You are two of my most favorite and trusted people, and it breaks my heart not to be with you next year. But I know you will understand. Scott, you are my best friend, and I will miss you in a way I cannot describe (heterosexually, of course). You have also always been there for me, and I can only hope you will find your way to England and visit. I feel God has called me to this decision, and I hope and pray He will keep me safe in my travels. So, that’s all I have to say about that. I still have a long time in the normal swing of things however, so no one flip out yet. I spent most of the evening with two female individuals and Ryan. It was fun to be in their company. Although, one of the girls was the one I wanted to woo, the one in the photo. And I don’t know, lately, I just have not been getting hyped up over girls. Like, I find women attractive and everything, but I don’t feel as if I feel anything to warrant wooing them. I also think that such feelings are not instant though. I don’t know, I keep sort of turning back to two individuals back home. Gah, women. I wish I would be shown a female that would just make everything black and white. But I guess, love is not an instantaneous thing. It seems to be like wine, it grows finer as more time passes. Anyways, we danced, then watched Twister. Haven’t seen that in a while. But it was good. I saw a Renaissance band play tonight. You know, I would really like to get into early music like that. I just love how it sounds. It’s late, I’m going to bed. Hope everyone is well.