Fingernails (Originally written 1/14/06)

I lost a fingernail tonight, for the second time. My left index fingernail. It’s appropriate, I ripped it off the first time pulling on a ski boot, and it came off for the second time at Welch Village, a ski hill. Yes, I did indeed go skiing today, and it was glorious. It is one of the things I do enjoy a lot. And I’m pretty good at. So, that was pleasurable. I had an interesting series of emotions tonight. On the way back from Welch, on the bus, I sat next to a bunch of high school students from my church who are all very active. As in, a very active faith life, they do a lot at church, etc, etc, etc. Exactly how I was when I was there age. It was just interesting to listen to them talk and interact with each other. Sort of took me back to the good old days. Then, when I came home tonight, I ran across a blue notebook. An old, ragged, dirty blue notebook, that acted as my journal through my last couple years of high school. It was interesting to read, because it basically is the less technological version of this here blog. It’s a little more privately orientated, but the subject matter is still the same. It’s still all about women. In particular, two females that I spent a lot of time in high school pining about. If you ever come to my house, and see my room, all my prom pictures are still up, and the female in question is in those pictures. I don’t know, it was just really sort of surreal to read the account I wrote about prom back in 11th grade, the emotions that were going through my head, the feelings I had, the hopes and dreams. This was (still is) an important moment in my life, because 11th grade prom was one of my few romantic successes in life. Well, nothing really came of it, but it was a success. Ever since then, I’ve sort of been in romantic doldrums. Just, nothing has worked out, or come up, or anything. Well, things come up, but they never lead to anything but frustration. I really don’t just sit here and live in the past, but it is always good to revisit the past. Our history is an integral part of our experience. We should learn from it, and apply its lessons to what lies ahead. Besides the whole girl part of the notebook, it was also interesting to see how my zeal for Christ expressed itself. I was a very zealous kid back in the day, the sort of cliché uber-religious kid you would see at a contemporary Christian rock concert. And it’s not that that’s a bad thing. I’ve just, moved on. Or better said, I express my faith in a different way. I sometimes wish I could have stayed how I was. It certainly makes life a lot more black and white. A lot clearer. So yeah, that’s what was on my mind. It would be nice to find a suitable girl at Luther. Of course, it is problematic when all the girls you like either have boyfriends, are on sabbatical from dating, are involved with other people, or are intensely crushed upon by your friends. Eh, I suppose it could be worse. I’m out. Hope everyone has a good day.