Elaborations

I wrote a short post previously about elaborating on some emotions stirred this weekend. Anyways, I had the opportunity to sit across from Kathleen, the oboe girl on the bus up to the Audubon Center near Sandstone. I don't know dude, I can't explain. I was captivated by her. Like, I couldn't stop looking at her. And just as a disclaimer, I'm not being creepy here. And here's the thing. I wasn't looking at her breasts, or her legs, or any particular part of her body. I just couldn't stop looking at her in general. And it really wasn't physically lustful. I just, found her to be so cool and nice and captivating and beautiful, I couldn't stop looking at her. I don't think she noticed a whole lot, but gosh. I learned a couple things about her. She is interested in Hebrew, thinking of majoring in Biblical languages, and seems to be a pretty intense Christian. She also likes Star Wars, and we both flipped out when we found out the other likes Moulin Rouge. Like, I just wanted to scream, I found her so dang enjoyable. I want to clarify to my friends, that I have a history of messing myself up emotionally by getting on this kicks with women. But I think I have a pretty even keeled perspective overall, so yeah. So yeah, that's the moral of the weekend. I was absolutely captivated by Kathleen. Like, all I want to do is go find her and talk to her. Just talk to her. And maybe ask if she wants to swing dance, but you know. And I mean, I think the theory of like, knowing your wife from the moment you see her is crap. It's a very romantic idea, but I just don't think it's the best way to go about engaging in a relationship. But I have to say, if I did follow this ideal, it would have been Kathleen. Gosh, I'm so glad I had this small opportunity to at least figure out a little of who she is. Like, we used to have a relationship where we would just acknowledge each other's existence around campus. Now we have a full fledged status of acquantaince I think. And with my social history, that's a great start. It's just another step. Next step hopefully, friendship. Like I've said repeatedly, I'm captivated by her. And I'm not captivated by her body, it's by her. And it feels great. I think it's so cool that she actually has an active faith. Ha, I should talk. My own faith is so much in just shambles right now. I have to be honest, it is. I still believe, but I don't act it. I don't make a conscious effort to go to church. I try to remember to pray, but it's hard. I don't read the Bible. It's a load of crap, and it's something I need to seriously examine in my life. Examining how I want my faith to work in my life, and how my life needs to work with my faith. But I admire faith so much in others. And I really admire it in Kathleen, a girl I barely know. But still. I know I probably sound like some stalker right now, but I'm not. Just, I'm full of emotion right now. I really really hope to God that I can do something with this girl. I hope I can get to know her. I hope she enjoys my presence. I hope, I hope, I hope. I hope a lot of things. But I really hope this.