Impending Things

I got an e-mail about band today, specifically, trombones. My friend Benjamin, who I journeyed around Japan with, is the new Luther College Concert Band trombone section leader. It's just sort of strange, when you're so used to an upperclassman being in charge, like Brad and Phil last year. I don't know, I just want to do more this year in terms of music. In actuality, what I really want, is to prove to both myself and others that I am for real. Last year, especially when I made Concert Band, I felt like a guy who just got a lucky break. Like, some poser claiming to be a good trombonist. And early on, I was. I'm not going to lie, I pulled the audition of my life to make that band. But by the end of the year, I personally could feel confident about my place in the band. Now, I want to erase all doubts that I am just some guy with a lot of luck. I am a good trombone player, and have the capability to play with the best that Luther has to offer. That's what I want. I want the musical and technical capability to engage in any musical activity I want, be it orchestra, jazz band, band, or anything else. I want to be able to go into those auditions knowing full well that if I play my very best, I will be in them. First of all, I need to reach a level where I am fully confident in my playing. I will though. I am anticipating a very productive year on the trombone. Man, last night, swing dancing, it was fun. It was most likely my last night of the summer, which was saddening. I will miss that a lot. I might have to see if my friends would be up for a spontaneous Thursday road trip to dance it up sometime this semester. Yeah, I've definitely been feeling some emotions for a female friend of mine. But I sort of get the impression that she really likes a friend of mine. So, that's a shame, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it, especially when I can't confirm anything. Remember my drama with Laura? I've been reading her blog lately, and I don't know, it's just made me think. It's definitely made me want to get to know her, but I'm so dang shy to call her, or do anything. So, that is a shame. I have to find a way to stay in contact with her. She's a girl I enjoy. Mind you, I mean this all as a friend. I've been really wanting to get up early sometime this week, and just go do something. Like, 6 in the morning. My experience the other day at Panera was just so invigorating. Oh man, I wanted to kill myself today at work. It was so busy, most of our staff was trainees, and the stupid Minnesota medical assistance was not working. And everyone on it came in at once. It just sucked hardcore. It was nice to work with Shane though, and make some cashola. I saw an old friend tonight, which was very nice. We played a round of Halo 2, then he left. But still, it was nice to see him. I miss him, in a non homosexual way. I don't know, my circle of male friendships and the disintigration of the aforementioned is for another time. I'm in a very anticipatory mood tonight. I'm anticipating how my musical life at Luther will go this fall, anticipating my return to college in general, anticipating my relationship with this girl, anticipating some enjoyment before I head off. I'm also anticipating developing some friendships, which excites me. Well, I'm going to bed. I'll probably watch Sideways again. It's a good movie.